Ever been to a munch or a party and met someone new, or have been having a rather famously wonderful time with your companion-or a date even-and make a suggestion for something naughty to follow the evening or just in the next few moments? It’s slightly more direct then simply making-a-pass or flirting you figure; hell, you’re both dressed in head-to-toe latex and there is a good warm feeling between you, why not have at that spanking bench in the corner of the room, you reason. But you find your attempt either laughed off or worse, completely ignored? The guy or girl next to you begs off or worse yet, suddenly finds someone they have never met in their life that they actually DO go off an play with!
How about sending a slightly flirty text or a naughty pic of one of your more attractive body parts (Naked) and never receiving a comment from your recipient? Ever left a message on someone’s Fetlife page to be met with no reply at all? Emails, Facebook wall missives, a look across a crowded room; we can’t assume that even though we are making our intention clear with all these types of communication that our intended will realize what we want, ever come to recognize it or in the end, want to reciprocate.
It’s a cruel hard truth, but just because you are ready and dressed for a little fun at a kinky event it doesn’t mean you are going to find fun at that event. Looking our best in a rubber codpiece or sporting the biggest bared boobs in the crowd just doesn’t translate to you getting action. What does? Hell, if I know, but it’s no surprise lots of couples and long time play mates attend parties and hangs so they are guaranteed fun. It’s not unusual to have just as many partiers report that they got some action in a community dungeon as hearing those bemoan the fact that they did not.
I’m not saying you’re not going to find an occasion or two for play if you attend a party or convention solo, but for piece of mind and to keep the ego in tact maybe we’re all just better off going out and about assured nothing is a fait accompli.
It’s not the easiest thing to do, as we all have found, but somewhere along the way we have to place the ex in the right compartment in our mind and heart if we want to get on with our lives. Young or older, gay or straight, guy or girl, we have all been at the precipice of teetering for the rest of our days or turning our back finally and firmly, pickin’-up our britches and getting on getting on.
It ain’t easy, I know. Shit, with Facebook staring us in the face at every turn, God knows it’s so tempting to look-up-the-old flame and get those answers you have been dying for near a half decade…or at least get to ask the questions. It’s a dangerous path to walk though and memories are a bitch; it’s best leave them be, really.
How ‘bout getting out some latex? How ‘bout attending one of those amazing marquis kinky events you read about on the equally amazing Von Gutenberg Fantasy Event List? How ‘bout letting your freak flag fly and finally inviting your very best girlfriend to come over, share a glass of wine and finally reveal your desire for her to spank you bare bottom? How about completing the cross-dressing you have only ever dabbled in before or traipsing cross the boundaries of bisexuality and hitting a few sites you normally would not.
I’m not saying sexual and/or kinky pursuits put the worry and pining over our ex’s in the proper perspective…actually, I think that is exactly what I am saying.
Really dude and dudesses…get off the fucking Facebook and meet some friends outside and out of your house for a cup of coffee, take a twirl across Fetlife? Pick-up issue #6 on Von Gutenberg magazine (available here) and get on with your life.
The ex will always be out there, it’s up to you how you deal with him or her, where you place your memories and how you get on with getting on. Fan the cards and deal or don’t, it’s up to you Potsie.
Yes the weekend you are your play partner are at might be labeled a marquis kinky event. Yes, you might frequent Fetlife or shop in stores known for their adult toys (I have been lucky to hit one’s in London, NYC, L.A. and San Francisco-strictly for research purposes of course); you might even spend time with people who read Von Gutenberg magazine or you have turned-on a few folks to our pages; you might brag about a wardrobe that competes with our couture line, found here.
But rest assured, no matter how much you play, ruminate over or share some time with like-minded folk, nobody but nobody has a clear definition of what kinky really is.
And that’s the way it should be; one’s man meat is another’s poison and all that. If playing airline pilot and stewardess is your thing, then have it, just don’t try and convince me that this is the apogee of kinky then I’m into wearing my Jackboots everywhere and get-off on making my lover smell the sweaty socks I wear with them. I double-dog dare you to convince me that you have the clear objective definition of what kinky is, because I assure you you don’t.
Von Gutenberg is a decidedly lifestyle fetish magazine, more often than not showcasing latex and leather but you will see by our articles or all the kinky events we list on our Fantasy Event List that we include as many interests and happenings as we come in contact with and are always on the look-out for more.
From the mild to the wild it is up to you to determine which, if either works in your life and your specific definition of both.
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